If you're anything like me, then you're winging it. Your eyeliner, life, crock-pot dinner, everything. Winging it kind of has a bad reputation. There is so much emphasis on having a plan, setting goals, and following a specific path. Having a plan is great and all, don't get me wrong. It's important to have an idea about what you want to do, where you'd like to end up, and some of the steps you need to take to get there. But there's a huge difference between having a general plan, and mapping out every single minute detail.
As the smartest (definitely curviest) person in Calabasas once said:
Just so we're all clear the quote is "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." And I believe Woody Allen made the quote famous. I'm guessing he came up with this after he left his wife for their adopted daughter...but I digress.
My point? Shit happens. All the time. And most of the time that shit comes flying outta right field...wait...left field? OKAY SO I DON'T KNOW BASEBALL. SHOOT ME.
The point is, at some point we are all going to be winging it. I guarantee if you talk to someone who is successful, they're going to tell you that at one point or another they were unsure of what they were doing, they feigned confidence, and they figured it out as they went.
That, my friends, is the epitome of winging it. It's trial by fire. It's getting lost, reorienting, and getting lost again. It's googling 1040-EZ at 3 a.m. on April 14th. It's fixing your differential, and then finding out that the transmission in your car has given out. It's applying for an entry level job that requires a minimum of 5 years experience, 4 months after you've graduated. It is adulting. And it is a right of passage.
From the outside looking in it may seem like a lot of the people around you have their shit together. This is especially true once you've graduated from college, and you and all of your peers enter "the real world". It may seem like everyone knows exactly what they're doing, and that's why they're reaching the goals that you aspire to reach. I'm here to tell you that I'm 88% sure that's not the case. What? You wanted me to tell you with 100% certainty what's going on in other people's lives? Let's be real. I couldn't tell you with 100% certainty what's going on in my own life.
Here are 10 questions I constantly ask myself that shows that I'm just trying to get by.
Wait...what?
This is something I usually ask myself 30-60 seconds after someone has given me some sort of task/instruction.
Example. My Boss (on my second day at work): T.A. call this hospital's attorney and negotiate the governing law and catastrophic incident terms in this agreement.
Me: Okay! (walks to desk, stares at computer) wait...what?
Honestly, who does that?
Most recently I asked this when I went to the grocery store, picked up a bag of cat food, and found that someone spit on the bag and that person's spit was now all over my hand and coat.
...Man, I don't even know. Shout out to Market Basket.
What is happening?
Whenever I suddenly find myself in a situation where I need to be adulting, but I was not mentally prepared to have to adult.
Also when I'm on the highway and I see an absurd amount of traffic up ahead.
How many more dollars til free shipping?
Usually right after I've added 5 items to my cart and I've mentally resolved to spend my grocery money on a peel off face mask, and 4 lace chokers.
What do these people want from me?
Every other Sunday when I open my mailbox.
Did I pay this?
Every other Sunday when I open my mailbox.
Why me God?
When I paid $550 to get the differential on my car fixed, and the next day the transmission broke.
Is this free?
Every time I walk past food that's laid out on a table.
How was I supposed to know that?
What I asked when (after 3 months of living at my apartment) my hot water got shut off and I was informed that I have to pay for hot water. Oh, so you mean to tell me I have to pay for water, pay for heat, and then pay to heat the water? WTF is this BS pyramid scheme?!
Wait...is this normal?
Me:
- When I cracked an egg and there were two yolks
- The first time my cat coughed up a furball
- When I got a parking ticket on a Sunday
- When my leasing company made me pay $100 to open the door to the building after I locked myself out
- Looking at myself in the mirror the first time I wore a crop top
- The first time I was on the T while it lost power
- That time I thought I had rheumatoid arthritis
- When the vet told me my other cat has eczema
- During my first Tinder date
- When my car started shaking violently on the highway
- The first time I saw my paycheck after taxes
The moral? You may not have it all figured out. You may not have it all together. But you don't need to. And I swear, you're in good company.