What are some tips for sustaining happiness through really tough times? originally appeared on Quora - the knowledge sharing network where compelling questions are answered by people with unique insights.
Answer by Raj Raghunathan, Professor of Marketing and happiness expert at UT Austin, on Quora.
It's obviously tough to sustain happiness through tough times--which is what makes them tough! As the saying goes, time is the best healer, which I have found to be true. But in the meantime, here are three things that I would strongly recommend:
1. Discuss the problem or issue with a close friend. When something really challenging happens and we do not discuss it with others, we are likely to blow it out of proportion in our own minds. Talking to others about it can help put this in perspective and also help us come up with new ideas for solving the problem. However, be careful in choosing the right person to talk to. It needs to be someone who has your best interests at heart and is also relatively non-judgmental.
2. Take action, any action, in a positive direction. As Goethe once said, "Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, power and grace in it." I have found this to be true in my own life too. When you face something challenging and you just think about ways to solve it without actually doing something, you end up feeling deflated. But once you start taking action, the stress seems to magically dissolve. Perhaps not completely, but sufficiently. One reason for this may be that when we take action, a large part of our brain's capacity is taken up by that activity, leaving less room for ruminating on the situation itself.
3. Look at the bright side. My final suggestion is to actively look for positive consequences triggered by the negative outcome. This is very tough to do when all you can think of is negative stuff. But as you will recognize when you look back on a negative event from you own past, very few events are fully, unambiguously, negative. Almost all negative events trigger at least some positive consequences. Many, in fact, trigger such huge positive consequences that we later come to cherish those very negative events. If that's true for past negative events, there's no reason why it won't be true for current negative events. So, just realize, even if you don't know how, that there's a very good chance you will later come to cherish the current negative event you are going through. Just having that confidence or faith--if you want to call it that--will help you ride out the tough phase.
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